Dirty Talk: How to Do It Like the Pros

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Most of our communication doesn’t work via the words you use – body language, the tone of your voice, and facial expressions are way more important. A study published in the Journal of Social and Personal Relationship found that the more comfortable we are talking about sex, the more satisfactory our sex lives will become. “Little signals or texts or messages can help ensure that by the time you’re getting physical with someone, the dirty talk will just feel like a natural progression,” says Eros. This type of dirty talk entails stepping into your own mini movie and directing the action, aka telling someone else or yourself exactly what to do. “Directing can sound like, ‘Take your pants off,’ or ‘Turn around and turn over,’” says Dr. Tara.

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Unless you’ve discussed it beforehand and your partner is OK with it, there is absolutely zero reason to boss your partner around or demand that they perform certain sex acts. That can lead to her feeling pressured or coerced into doing things she doesn’t want to do, and there’s nothing sexy about that. Now, we’d both done some pretty intense dirty talk in the past.

How to Start Talking Dirty

’ Drake says what works best here is to use phrases and terminology that are part of your normal vocabulary—just emphasize their sexiness. So if the thought of it makes you cringe but you’d still like to give it a try, we’ve got you—here’s a beginner’s guide to dirty talk. If you’re not together, take the opportunity to text her something very dirty. Not only will you make her feel horny while away from you, it’ll also increase the anticipation for a great time later. You need to get her mind racing, you need to make her visualize the words you say, and you need to transport her mentally to a place of sexual bliss.

It just doesn’t have the same effect—and that’s because hearing certain words or phrases can be a major turn-on. But while porn stars may have no qualms about uttering filthy phrases during sex, many of us regular folk tend to blush at the mere thought of saying such words out loud. Even the phrase “dirty talk” sounds shameful or bad. If you’re the one who feels awkward or cringes at the idea of talking dirty yourself, but you find it hot when others do it, know that learning some tips for exactly how to talk dirty can help. “That discomfort may just be a reflection of the fact that you lack experience saying things aloud, without a filter, or intentionally to titillate a partner,” says LGBTQ+ expert and counselor Kryss Shane, LMSW.

  • And even if they’re up for it—in theory—there may be some words or phrases that might be triggering and that they’d like you to avoid.
  • If you practice alone what you want to do with a partner (even if in your head), you’ll eventually gain the confidence to share those thoughts during the heat of the moment.
  • We enjoy furthering our careers, watching TV, and spending time with other people.

The excitement you had from the first handful of times you had sex will often rush back in and rekindle your passionate fires. But in any case, starting by addressing dirty talk with your partner directly can make you feel much more comfortable. Dirty talk can also arouse partners to the point of orgasm. Some women and men can actually get so turned on by dirty talk that they will get wet or hard and orgasm, even without genital stimulation. Masini says, the power of dirty talk can allow someone to get „out of their own head“ and into the mood.

Sometimes people just want some love and kinky sexual healing from their partner. „People very much enjoy dirty talking because it activates all regions of your brain while your body is also getting stimulated,“ Cioffi told Medical Daily. „Similar areas of the brain are touched upon during dirty talk as when we curse. So, very often as your brain sees it, the dirtier the better.“ Dirty talk doesn’t need to be restricted to just the bedroom. In fact, Manta says leveraging virtual opportunities to practice your dirty talk can help you get more comfortable with doing so in real life.

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